It's Music to My Vagina

by Tonia

Have you heard about Babypod? It's a small speaker inserted into the vagina so pregnant women’s little uterine occupants can listen to music. Yep. A musical tampon. (I thought one of joys of pregnancy was NOT having to use tampons!) I know lots of women who GOT pregnant with music, but I’ve not known any to stick music up their va-jays-jays AFTER they got knocked up.

But it’s nice to know that the vagina can be so functional …. since it’s mostly an unused, empty space - and so conveniently located. Just jam a couple of speakers up there and turn up the muzak! Maybe it could also be used for other kinds of storage as well. Snacks. Household items. Cleaning supplies. How about a pez dispenser to reward a partner for a little cunnilingus?

Supposedly Babypod was invented after several ultrasounds showed fetuses responding to music by moving their mouths and tongues – you know, like fetus lip syncing. Can’t wait for that new show. The makers of Babypod also assert that music improves in vitro fertilization (no vagina needed for that, BTW). You know, cuz sperm like to try their best dance moves as they move to the beat of the music while approaching the ovum.

A definite advantage of the Babypod would be to get a little vibration going in the ol’ hoo-ha. Kind of like those hands-free vibrators. Which I guess means staying out of the public eye while playing Beethoven to Cletus the Fetus. But it would be kind of fun to walk around Walmart and confuse people about the faint music sound. If anyone asked where the music was coming from, I’d simply say, “Yea, its my vagina.”

For your next girlfriends’ get together, forget the Babypod and just have a sex toy party. You’ll especially like the hands-free remote-operated vibrator! You’re welcome!