Celebrate Me Because I’m Hot, Single and Fabulous!

By Anna

"I don't have a baby. Everyone drink!" – Samantha, from Sex in the City

I’ve been to more bridal and baby showers than Lindsey Lohan has relapsed. I figure with the money I’ve spent buying gifts, decorations, drinks, food, sex toys & cab fares, I could have bought myself a new Range Rover. Seen too many women wrapped in toilet paper bridal gowns; seen too many brides-to-be miss all the questions about their fiancées; seen too many candy bars and baby food in diapers. It makes me wonder, why don’t men host these things? What is it about having tits that makes hosting and attending showers MANdatory?

I HAVE attended a few memorable showers:

(1) A drinking game at a baby shower based on when anyone said “Awwww…” at a gift. Prissy office girl got plastered out of her mind and told us more information about her sex life than any of us cared to know. Said she had developed a closet pot smoking habit to try to cope. TMI!!

(2) Showing porn at a bridal shower. The bride-to-be seemed shocked - but was secretly taking notes on a napkin in her purse. New hubby should have sent us a thank-you note!

(3) A trick on the bachelorette. After she irritatingly kept calling her fiancé all night during her bachelorette party, a friend stole her phone, changed the fiancé’s number to her number, and reset the voicemail telling her she was no longer allowed to call her sweetie. The expression on that bachelorette’s face the next time she tried to call was priceless.

I love my girlfriends and I love girlfriend get-togethers, but why do I have to get married or have a baby to be the guest of honor at a freakin’ shower?! I’ve graduated from college, gotten promotions, and even gotten engaged…euh, twice. I want a shower! We could call it the FOREVER Bachelorette Party – or the Create a New Love Nest Shower.

I want to pick my colors, invitations and venue. I want balloons, a cake, chips, dips and all that crap. I want to register at Pier 1 and Condom Sense for an upgrade in ambience and preparedness. 

So, a fabulous excuse for a girlfriend get-together is a shower all about ME…. .or you. Celebrate with Cosmos and bring that sexy back! You could create a personalized scavenger hunt or pub crawl. Tell all the bartenders you’re celebrating being hot, single and fabulous! Now give me my free drink!

All About ME Tini (aka Cosmo)

1 oz. freshly squeezed lemon juice                       

1 oz. cranberry juice

1 oz. Cointreau

2 oz. Vodka

In cocktail shaker add all ingredients. Top with ice cubes. Shake like Mr. Big is watching you. Strain into chilled martini glass. Garnish, if you like, with lemon slice on rim of glass.