Bad Girls Badminton

by Tonia

“It’s the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.” – Tallulah Bankhead

I'm not much of a cook. In fact, I wanted to turn my kitchen into an extra bedroom until someone reminded me that I needed a refrigerator for martinis. So why I was in charge of making the Cherries Jubilee for Bad Girls’ Badminton is still a mystery. And why I didn’t go look up a recipe is .... well .... probably because I was more interested in creating my Lisa Novak* costume than cooking. I knew, of course, that I needed cherries and alcohol. What could be easier? So, on the evening of the party, I threw a couple cans of cherries and a bottle of rum in a pan and lit it. It burned … and it burned …. and it burned …. and it burned. Everyone was smiling and waiting …. and waiting. Someone commented on what a great fire it was and suggested we roast marshmallows. Bitch. Finally smothered the flames with a lid and served the blackened cherries with ice cream and LOTS of warm rum still left in the pan.

So what IS a Bad Girls’ Badminton party? It is a fabulous girlfriends get-together that encourages  releasing your inner Bad Girl - you know the one - she’s in there cursing, getting laid, breaking a few rules. At the party we dress up as various Bad Girls and spend an evening whacking cocks….I mean, SHUTTLEcocks. OK, OK, you can call them BIRDIES.

But an important rule in our version of badminton is whenever someone misses hitting the shuttlecock (and this will happen FREQUENTLY) she has to curse with an original curse word – nothing that anyone has heard before. Each new curse word is then written down by the Curse Word Keeper. When the matches are over, the Curse Word Keeper selects her top 10 favorite curse words and the group votes to determine the #1 winning curse. Some of our winners have been “douch fart” and “syphilis stick.” Would love to hear yours!

*Lisa Novak, as you may remember, was the astronaut that drove from Houston to Orlando to confront her rival. She wore a diaper so she would not have to stop on the way. She was charged with attempted vehicle burglary, battery, and destruction of evidence.