Mommies Gone Wild

by Rachel

I am so outdated on piercings, I’m like a school marm from the 1950s. I have one hole in my left earlobe and one hole in my right earlobe. Talk about no imagination! So a few nights ago four girlfriends and I decided to get our belly buttons pierced. I know, I know, it wasn’t our nipples, but, hey, we wanted to be able to go public.

We piled into my friend’s minivan (nothing says cool like minivan) and went to a popular tattoo parlor - not to be confused with beauty parlor, ice cream parlor, or funeral parlor. We were greeted by a seedy looking building with bright neon lights, black tinted windows and pictures of dragons, skulls and swords. As we walked in, we heard a few snickers. OK, we might have looked a bit out of place with our mom jeans, striped sweaters and purses as big as diaper bags. Mr. I-Love-Pain-So-Cover-Me-In-500-Tattoos asked where the filming crew was for the “mommy’s gone wild” group. 

It was decided that I would go 2nd (the order being based on who was most likely to chicken out - I was voted the 2nd most likely to bolt). When it was my turn, I tried to do my Lamaze breathing and squeeze my friends’ hands but I couldn’t muffle the screams. The Inflictor rolled his eyes and muttered some rude comment under his breath. 

Got home and woke my husband to show him my piercing. He said I must be having an early mid-life crisis and asked if I was going to come home after every girls’ night out with a new piercing or tattoo.  Hmmmm…. Maybe an eyebrow or nose next? Nah, I will probably just stick with the ears and navel. 

But, if you and your girlfriends are considering a Girls' Night Out for tattoos or piercings, here is a little decision-making questionnaire for you:

-  Have I wanted this for more than five minutes?

-  Am I sober?

-  Do I miss the pain of childbirth or need to cry?

-  Have I taken my anti-psychotic medication today?

If you answered "Yes" to all of these, grab those girlfriends and some Liquid Courage (straight vodka is recommended) and go for it! And tell us about it!