May 14, 2012

Outlawed Sex

Posted by Tonia at Monday, May 14, 2012
By Tonia

“Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.” From Murphy’s Laws of Love

Today’s blog is about unusual sex laws that are still on the books. Pay close attention as these laws may be applicable in your state and you do not want to be arrested. I, personally, look terrible in orange.

In Bozeman, Montana, it's illegal to have intercourse with a person of the opposite sex on the front lawn after sundown if the participants are nude. I think you can get around this one if you have sex with someone of the same sex … or leave at least one sock on.

In Newcastle, Wyoming, there is a law which prohibits a couple from having intercourse standing inside a market's walk-in-meat freezer. This one is easy. Simply lay down …. and hope to God your ass doesn’t stick to the freezer floor!

The entire state of New Mexico does not allow a couple to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch breaks and if the vehicle has curtains. For God’s sake, take those curtains down! Let us watch!

In Cleveland, Ohio, a woman may not wear patent-leather shoes and a skirt at the same time because a man might see the reflection of her va-jay-jay in her shoes. This law brings shoe porn to a whole new level. My thoughts: if you’re wearing patent-leather, tap dance your way through the day. Hard to catch a reflection that way.

In Clinton, Oklahoma, it’s illegal to masturbate while watching two people have sex in a car. Maybe those New Mexicans can send their car curtains. Other advice: see if the couple will move to the lawn. After all, it’s not Bozeman, Montana!

In Willowdale, Oregon, men must pay a fine if they talk 'dirty' during sex. Since this law is gender specific to men, I think we’re OK here, ladies. Talk as dirty as you like!

According to the law in Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun while his female partner has an orgasm. Wow. Not even sure what to say here. WTF???

For your next girlfriends’ get-together be sure to have some Sex-on-the-Beach (if it’s not illegal in your state, of course!). Here’s our recipe:

Sex on the Beach:
Pour the following into a shaker with ice cubes:

1.5 oz of vodka  
1 oz of peach schnapps
2 oz of orange juice
2 oz of cranberry juice

Shake well; strain into a glass; garnish with an orange slice and maraschino cherries. Enjoy!! (But don’t be shooting off any guns when you drink!)

1 comments: on May 15, 2012 at 10:34 AM said...

Wow! Stunning collection of laws there. It's fun to wonder just what exact events prompted those laws to be made (events, or perhaps just fantasies, huh?) Drink sounds yummy too....

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