by Tonia
"Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families."
I love my girlfriends. Their love, support and hilarity have kept me out of psychiatric institutions. I tell
them crazy-ass stories and they don’t judge me. I tell them about my stressful situations and, after they try to be empathic, they poke fun at them. Our shared humor brings
me deep comfort because I know they “get me.” When they turn my angst/ fears/ heartbreaks/
disappointments into laughter, they turn my stinkin' straw into gold.
Women bond with
laughter (both with and without eye-rolling). It’s our way of saying,
"OMG, I know!" We share
stories of midnight rendezvous with Ben & Jerry; of wrap-around skirt failings;
of fake orgasms and mind-bending orgasms; of screaming babies with comatose
partners; of incinerating, hell-preparatory hot flashes; of evil plots of revenge
on exes….
If one of us complains about a husband’s
irritating habit of rolling his eyes at her, someone responds, “Who does he
think he is – a teenager?” Bingo. Girlfriend validated.
If one of us has
morning sickness, someone says, “Yea, getting knocked up means a hangover every
morning ... but without the shit-faced fun the night before.” Bingo. Girlfriend validated.
If one of us has a
cooking disaster, someone has a similar story, “Hey! I tried to use Fruity
Pebbles instead of Rice Krispies for snowballs - looked like balls of puke.” Bingo. Girlfriend validated.
It’s hard for girlfriends to get together for more than five minutes and
not exchange some kind of personal information and start to laugh. It’s
‘estrogenergy’ – special female chemistry that has inspired quilting bees,
garden parties, teas, sororities, bridge clubs, bridal showers, and baby
showers for centuries. WE call them ‘estrofests!’
In honor of ‘estrofests,’ here are some hilarious woman-honoring games for your next girlfriends’ get-together:
FAKE ORGASM OLYMPICS – Ask three girlfriends to be
judges. Equip each of them with five (5) pieces of paper with the numbers 6, 7,
8, 9, and 10 written separately on each one. Then ask three participants to sit
in chairs in front of the judges. Instruct the participants one at a time to
spend 30 seconds doing their best imitation of an orgasm (think Meg Ryan in
When Harry Met Sally). When the demonstration is complete, ask the
three judges to hold up their “scores” (one of the five numbers). Add the score
and then repeat with the second and third participants. Highest score wins.
SUPERMOM RELAY – Set up two identical mommy task/obstacle courses (described below). Form
two teams of 3-5 women. Have each team create a line; give each team three (3) dolls (representing children). Explain
that each team member must run through a Mommy Task/Obstacle Course and
complete each chore while holding on to
her “children” (team members who drop children will be reported to
Child Protective Services – this can be whatever you’d like it to be: starting
over again, running a lap around the yard, etc.). When a team member has
completed the course, she should return to the line and hand off the “children”
to the next teammate so that she too can run the course. The first team to have
all team members complete the task/obstacle course and return to the line wins.
You can set out as many or as few tasks/obstacles as you like (just make sure
that you set out two identical ones – one for each team). We have used some of
the following:
(1) Grocery sacks with 5 (five) canned goods. Participants must put unload
sacks and then load them again.
(2) Children’s books on chairs. Participants must sit down and read the
first page out loud.
(3) Pans of water with a stack of 3 (three) plates. Participants must
dip each plate in the water and restack.
(4) Lipsticks and mirrors. Participants must put lipstick on.
(5) Unfolded towels (as many as you have participants). Participants
must fold one towel.
(6) Suit jackets. Participants must put jacket on and then take it off.
GET THAT MAN OFF YOUR BACK CONTEST – Using three male blow-up dolls and three game participants, tie one blowup doll to each participant’s back. To increase the level of difficulty you can also handcuff the participants. When the hostess says “Go!” the participants make every effort and gyration to try to get the “man off their backs.” First one to successfully do so wins.
Share with us some of your women-honoring games below!
