Feb 14, 2013

Waxed to the Maxed

Posted by Tonia at Thursday, February 14, 2013

By Tonia

After several wonderful, youthful hippie years of not shaving my legs, I eventually gave in and commenced leg and armpit shearing. I've been doing it now for over 35 years. Ugh.

Recently I started hearing women talk about getting rid of their PUBIC hair. I was fascinated – well, ‘obsessed’ is probably a better description. I began taking informal surveys wherever I went, “What do you think of pubic hair?” “What do others think of your pubic hair?” “What do you do with your pubic hair?” (I really need to separate my personal life from my academic life.)

I found out that women have all kinds of hairdos down there - some by shaving and some by waxing. I was intrigued by waxing. There's bikini; there's Hollywood; there's Brazilian. Now, I’m not anti-bush but I was especially curious about the Brazilian wax. You know, the ultimate “no hair left behind” technique. At first I thought only strippers and porn stars ripped out all their pubic hair by the roots but then I found out that BABY BOOMER women are the ones who most frequent the Brazilian wax bars I mean, SALONS wax salons. Holy crap. I’m a Baby Boomer woman.

I’d never waxed anything in my life so I knew I had to try it. I went to a recommended salon and met She-na, Warrior Woman against all Willful Body Hair. Perky and friendly, she had me lay back on the table with my legs positioned froggy style. A bit awkward but, hey, I’ve had babies; I’ve been exposed. Then RIP! RIP! RIP! If I hadn’t felt the warmth of the wax I would have sworn she used duct tape. Then she told me to turn over. Turn over?? Wait a minute! I wasn’t expecting THAT pose! Then she told me to spread my cheeks. I’ve spread a lot of things in my life (love joy margarine) but I have never purposely spread my butt cheeks. But I obeyed. RIP!

When I got home I took a look. My crotch looked like it had a sunburn. That was two weeks ago. Right now my compulsion is to scratch – which seems greater than my need to be socially acceptable ... or sexy.

Girlfriends’ party idea? Well, if you’re brave, go together and try it! Bring liquor .... lots of it.


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