I Need a Fender Bender Mender

By Tonia

“Accidents are not accidents but precise arrivals at the wrong right time.”― Dejan Stojanovic

I recently had a car accident. No one was hurt, thank God, but I’m still wondering: how did that slow-moving vehicle bounce off my car? Did it have anything to do with me swerving into its lane? Surely not!

This is not my first auto accident. My dysfunctional relationship with driving began at 16 when I failed my first driving test and drove over a wall. That little incident made the newspaper. After I survived the adolescent humiliation of it, I collected several moving violations. I remember my mother telling me that I really needed to start a different kind of collection. (Everyone thinks they're a comedian.) There were also dismantled side mirrors. And hopped curbs. And the 3 totaled out cars.

I try to be a good person but traffic rules can be so tedious. I like a bit more creativity in my automotive adventures....I mean, travel. Using turn signals Every. Single. Time. Just seems unnecessary. And those “No U-turn” signs really just mean look out for cops before turning around. And tailgating. Gets you where you want to go a little bit faster and helps you get up close and personal to make new friends. Or maybe find a date.....

I once saw a definition of PEDESTRIAN that I thought was pretty accurate: “Annoying obstacle infringing upon your right to drive at the speed you feel most comfortable.” H.E.L.L.O. So true!

Despite my own poor driving record, I don’t recommend a car wreck for your next girlfriends’ get together. Instead, try this retro drink called the Golden Cadillac. It’s yummy.

GOLDEN CADILLAC

1 ½  oz. Galliano

1 oz. heavy cream

1  oz. crème de cacao

Fill a cocktail shaker halfway with ice. Add ingredients. Shake and pour into cocktail glass.