It's Raining Dildos

by Tonia

Did you hear the one about dildos hanging flaccidly from power lines?

They were getting a charge.

Ahahahaha!

Made that one up myself.

But it’s really been happening! In Portland, Oregon, there have been dozens of paired (how romantic!) dildos thrown over power lines. And I’m not dicking around with you either. It’s true. Geez. I’m never in the right place at the right time. While I’ve seen lots of penises in my time, I’ve never seen any hanging from wires. There were a few dicks I wanted to hang by a wire but I never got the chance.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about the situation in Portland. I’ve actually had some penetrating thoughts about it. You know - theories - about it.

Could it be that…..

…..this is a new rite of passage symbol for losing your virginity?

…..a kinky meteorologist is trying out some new kind of weathervanes?

…..a giant, benevolent dildo deity rained tiny offspring for the joy of man/womankind?

.....this is a grown-up version of Toy Story with adult toys coming alive at night?

…..someone with a fabulous collection of dildos has given them up for…..for…..what on earth would you give them up for???

While it’s still unclear what the meaning of the flying phalluses is, I, for one, think their appearance calls for a celebration! Invite your girlfriends over for a “Make Love; Not War” party. Serve phallic shaped foods such as asparagus, carrots, hot dogs, bananas, etc and/or vagina shaped foods such as oysters, tacos, dried pears, won tons, strawberries cut in half, etc OR just serve foods that are known to be aphrodisiacs such as chocolate, oysters, pomegranates, red wine, etc. Have vibrator races and find your Joie de Vivre!