Enjoy the Trip Down South

by Tonia

Always the scientist, I ran across some research recently that suggests cunnilingus may be an evolutionary adaptation used by men to prevent infidelity. Meditate on that for a moment…..

Does that mean a va-jay-jay is like food - if you lick it, no one else wants to eat it?

Or maybe it’s as simple as the fact that his head cock-blocks the entrance.

Or maybe it’s cuz if you really know how to pleasure me, I don’t want to go anywhere else!

Hmmmm…….

So I’ve been pondering cunnilingus. And I want to give some lip service to this important genitalese. Yes, I’ll be your cunning linguist.

  

While some partners go south simply to ingratiate themselves (like helping move furniture or programming the DVR), anyone who’s going to earn a diving certificate from me needs to show some enthusiasm for the pussy! This shouldn’t be a perfunctory task, boys. It should be a celebration! You’re getting up close and personal to the Area 51 of my body! And it’s awesome!

In fact, it’s so awesome that Taoism considers cunnilingus a revered and spiritual practice. (Is it too late for me to convert?) It believes that partaking of women’s juices from the “peak of the purple mushroom” (the mons veneris) is great medicine, contributing to longevity. Well, that certainly explains “kneeling at the altar.” Line up, Lovers! I’m going to help you live a long life!

And, for the record, if you (or your lover) think pussies are dirty, a freshly washed vulva is way cleaner than the human mouth! So PLEASE no more vulgar cunnilingus expressions. You can “lick the slit” or “growl at the badger” or “yodel in the canyon of love” but no more tuna references.

And, to add to your cunnilingus experience, you might want to consider getting your partner the Snorkel O Vibrating Muff Dive Gear for the holidays. It allows her/him to go down and stay down! Woo hoo! Click HERE to order (no, I haven’t bought stock in the company but that may not be a bad idea!). You’re welcome!