Nov 4, 2015

YES, I'm Thankful!

Posted by Tonia at Wednesday, November 04, 2015
By Tonia

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.” – Oscar Wilde

Thanksgiving is approaching and I’ve been seeing all the 30-day thankfulness posts on Facebook. While some of them are a bit cheesy, I certainly subscribe to a gratitude attitude. After all, the best things in life are free, right? I just don’t understand why I don’t have a bigger savings account then.

I’ve also seen the meme that says to be thankful that spiders can’t fly. But, personally, I’m glad cows can’t fly. Bird shit on my car is bad enough. But I digress…

In the history of Thanksgiving, only half of the Mayflower pilgrims survived, so I guess Thanksgiving is really a Holy Shit – I’m Happy to Be Alive Day. I can get behind that. Despite my complaints about aging, it’s better than the alternative. So here’s my thankfulness list.
I am thankful that –

-- I don’t get what I deserve
-- I’m not a turkey ….. at least not literally
-- At this age, my farts are still just farts ….. nothing extra
-- I’ve peed before I’ve laughed ….. it saves laundry
-- Anna wouldn’t let me trim my bangs after 4 Margaritas the other night
-- Sex is free ….. usually
-- Science has discovered sex is good for the brain ….. I need the neuron growth!
-- Viagra is available for my sex partners ….. even if some of them put it in Pez dispensers!
-- Among all the sex scandals in the media this year, my name wasn’t mentioned
-- I have wonderful family and friends…..some even with benefits

So, if you’re having a girlfriends’ get together before Thanksgiving, serve Pumpkin Martinis and brainstorm ideas for creating a THANKSGIVING BINGO CARD for Thanksgiving Day (i.e. “Someone talking shit about another family member in the other room” or “A sibling rivalry moment among adults” or “Someone gets drunk,” etc).

Pumpkin Martini

Mix the following ingredients in a martini shaker filled with ice:

3 TBSP vodka
2 TBSP half and half
1 TBSP canned pumpkin puree
1 TBSP maple syrup
¼ tsp vanilla extract

Shake (DUH!).
If you like a rimmer, mix sugar and pumpkin pie spice on a plate. Wet the rim of a cold martini glass and dip it in the sugar and pumpkin pie mix.

Or add a bit of whipped cream on top! Cheers!


MsCheeVS on November 4, 2015 at 10:43 PM said...

hmmmm? sibling rivalry?

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