By Tonia
“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody,
even one's own relations.” – Oscar Wilde
Thanksgiving is approaching and I’ve been seeing all the 30-day
thankfulness posts on Facebook. While some of them are a bit cheesy, I
certainly subscribe to a gratitude attitude. After all, the best things in life
are free, right? I just don’t understand why I don’t have a bigger savings
account then.
I’ve also seen the meme that says to be thankful that
spiders can’t fly. But, personally, I’m glad cows can’t fly. Bird shit on my
car is bad enough. But I digress…
In the history of Thanksgiving, only half of the Mayflower pilgrims survived, so I guess Thanksgiving is really a Holy Shit – I’m Happy to Be Alive Day. I
can get behind that. Despite my complaints about aging, it’s better than the
alternative. So here’s my thankfulness list.
I am thankful that –
-- I don’t get what I deserve
-- I’m not a turkey ….. at least not literally
-- At this age, my farts are still just farts ….. nothing
extra
-- I’ve peed before I’ve laughed ….. it saves laundry
-- Anna wouldn’t let me trim my bangs after 4 Margaritas the
other night
-- Sex is free ….. usually
-- Science has discovered sex is good for the brain ….. I
need the neuron growth!
-- Viagra is available for my sex partners ….. even if some
of them put it in Pez dispensers!
-- Among all the sex scandals in the media this year, my
name wasn’t mentioned
-- I have wonderful family and friends…..some even with benefits
So, if you’re having a girlfriends’ get together before
Thanksgiving, serve Pumpkin Martinis and brainstorm ideas for creating a
THANKSGIVING BINGO CARD for Thanksgiving Day (i.e. “Someone talking shit about
another family member in the other room” or “A sibling rivalry moment among
adults” or “Someone gets drunk,” etc).
Pumpkin Martini
Mix the
following ingredients in a martini shaker filled with ice:
3 TBSP
vodka
2 TBSP
half and half
1 TBSP
canned pumpkin puree
1 TBSP
maple syrup
¼ tsp
vanilla extract
Shake (DUH!).
If you
like a rimmer, mix sugar and pumpkin pie spice on a plate. Wet the rim of a
cold martini glass and dip it in the sugar and pumpkin pie mix.
Or add a
bit of whipped cream on top! Cheers!
1 comments:
hmmmm? sibling rivalry?
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