Period Party

By Anna

“The Curse.” “Aunt Flo.” “On the Rag.”

Shedding that eggless uterine lining has no silver lining in it, I can tell ya! I swear my period feels like someone is reaching into my uterus & cutting it out with a dull, rusted steak knife. There just isn’t enough Midol or a big enough heating pad to put this beast to rest. Cramps, diarrhea, moodiness, headaches, backaches, tiredness… I think birds have the right idea - lay that egg and sit your butt on it ‘til it hatches. No uterus needed.

Seriously, there are times when I feel like having a little revenge on my female organs. I know most of my girlfriends feel the same way… and, well, we’ve discovered a way to do just that! Check out this crazy Uteriñata (uterus piñata): click here . Fill it with tampons, pain relievers, hot pads & chocolate. Then get your girlfriends together for a Period Party. Have everyone wear her most outrageous red outfit. Slap on some maxi pad name tags and show that bitch just how you really feel during your period!

Then play:

(1)   Shoot the tampon through the vagina

(2)  Pin the uterine lining back in the uterus

(3)  Don’t spill the Midol (substituting Midol for beans in the game Don’t Spill the Beans)

Serve red wine - or one of my other favs. Funny enough, it's a fancy BLOODY Mary. But today we’re calling it the Raging Hormone.

Raging Hormone
Fill a 16 oz. glass with ice

Pour in

   1 oz. Vodka
   3/4 cup Zing Zang Bloody Mary Mix
   2 Tbls olive juice & throw in a couple
   Dash of dill
   Dash of celery salt
   2 drops Tabasco
   2 drops Worcestershire 
   ½ teaspoon of horseradish
   ½ teaspoon of chopped fresh jalapenos
   Squeeze in ¼ lime
   1Tbls fresh cilantro

Shake & garnish with celery stick, lime slice and olives