What Would Girlfriends Do?

By Tonia

“A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting beside you and say, ‘Damn that was fun!‘”

My best adventures are always with girlfriends. Like the time I went skinny-dipping in the Atlantic  Ocean and my girlfriend almost drowned me trying to get her bathing suit back on. Or the time I went sky-diving and couldn’t peel my fingers off of the plane and my girlfriend waited patiently for me to LET GO. Or the time a girlfriend and I were in a car accident and 30 cucumbers exploded in the trunk (don't ask). Or the time a girlfriend and I slept on the roof and spied on the neighbors. Or the time a couple girlfriends and I went to Mexico and I smuggled Cuban cigars across the border….. oops, maybe I wasn’t supposed to share that one.

I love my girlfriends. They save me tons of money in therapy. I play lots of roles in my life and wear lots of “hats” – but, when I am with girlfriends, I remember who I really am.

In honor of women’s freedom to be authentically themselves with one another, here is a game to play at your next girlfriends’ get-together. We call it, What Would Girlfriends Do? Play it after a couple of drinks, but remember, what’s said at the party, stays at the party!

Directions:

Prior to the party, copy and paste the questions below into a Word document. Fill in the blanks with the names of your guests. Then make enough copies for everyone. (If you would like to make more than one version of this little “quiz,” simply change up the names and make additional copies.)

At the party, distribute to each guest. Ask them to circle the truest response for each item. When everyone is finished, ask the girlfriend whose name is on each item to reveal the correct answer. The girlfriend with the most correct answers wins.

1. What would make ___________ happiest? 

1. A new sex partner
2. A new vibrator
3. The death of an old sex partner
4. Menopause

2. What would make ___________ happiest?

1. Government subsidized tampons
2. Self-cleaning teeth
3. Bra warmers
4. Days alone with Haagen Daz 

3. When ___________ breaks up with a lover, which of the following is she most likely to do?

1. Get a restraining order
2. Get a new dildo
3. Get her naked pictures back
4. Go to therapy

4. What would ___________ say if she ever got arrested?

1. “Damn, that was fun!”
2. “Please call my attorney.”
3. “Wanna’ search me, Officer?”
4. “Will there be room service?”

5. If ___________ were trapped on a desert island alone for a week, what would she want to take with her?

1. Vodka
2. A trashy novel
3. Chocolate
4. A douche

6. What would make ___________ feel most embarrassed?

1. Walking into the men’s restroom
2. Finding out she had lettuce in her teeth when she met with the boss
3. Getting a sex toy stuck
4. Walking out of the restroom with toilet paper stuck to her shoe

7. What would make ___________ feel most embarrassed?

1. Getting the hick-ups while giving a presentation
2. Dropping her purse and having several condoms fall out
3. Getting a leg cramp during sex
4. Getting caught skinny-dipping

8. If ___________ were to write a Dear John/Dear Jane letter to a lover, what might she say?

1. “I no longer feel the need to fake my orgasms.”
2. “I’d rather stick myself in the eye with an ice pick than be with you any longer.”
3. “Having recovered from my psychotic break, I need to leave now.”
4. “Call me if you ever need a ride to the asylum.”

9. If ___________ were a goddess, which goddess would she be?

1. Domestic Goddess
2. Sex Goddess
3. Wine Goddess
4. Strong-willed Goddess

10. If ___________ were to have sex outdoors, where would she do it?

1. On the 18^th green of a golf course
2. Under a bush at a park
3. In a back alley
4. Under a street light in her neighborhood

11. What would be ___________‘s coping skill if she were having a hard time at work?

1. Hiding in the supply closet
2. Calling in sick
3. Going to Happy Hour every night after work
4. Photocopying her butt and anonymously sending it to her boss

12. If___________ were to pull a prank on her gynecologist during a pelvic exam, which would she most likely do?

1. Post a note on her vulva
2. Ask the dr. to keep her eye out for her lost ben-wa balls
3. Talk for her vagina as the dr. is working
4. Tie bows on her pubic hair