Jan 30, 2011

The Dildo Drop

Posted by Tonia at Sunday, January 30, 2011
By Anna

 Turns out the life expectancy for a vibrator isn’t so long. 
My friend is an Army wife with 2 beautiful children…..and a healthy sex drive. A few years ago her man went to Iraq for 15 months to look for weapons of mass destruction (yea, well…).
SHE went to Kansas to engage in vibrator annihilation. Really. She went through 3 vibrators. Most of them died of natural causes but one died in a tragic accident. Here's the story:
One night she rented the super sexy Mr. & Mrs. Smith with Brad Pitt (who looks like her husband, by the way). Since the kids were sound asleep she decided to have a rendez-vous with her new shiny vibrator. While she was in the act she heard her daughter wake up and head for her room. In a panic, she jumped out of bed and slammed the vibrator into the wall. It broke into a zillion pieces. Not able to see, she knocked over her desk and night stand trying to find the light switch. When her daughter entered the room, she was standing naked, with a ½ busted vibrator in her hand and plastic pieces all around her. Her daughter turned on the light, stared at her blankly and then simply got into her mother's bed without a word.  My friend was picking up plastic pieces for weeks. To this day she doesn’t know if she was busted or not. I guess she’ll find out when adolescence hits.  
During her husband’s deployment we drank lemon drop shots before catching our ride downtown to dance our pains away. So anytime I drink one of these, I think of her. But we’re renaming it The Dildo Drop in her honor. Serve it at your next sex toys or lingerie party.

The Dildo Drop

3 oz. Absolute Citron
3 oz. Sweet & Sour (or lemonade)

Sugar the rim of two low ball cocktail glasses & garnish w/a lemon. Shake w/ice & distribute evenly.

You can sip it or slam it - but just don’t drop it. My girlfriends would term that alcohol abuse.

4 comments:

Elizabeth on February 1, 2011 at 6:45 PM said...

Actually, I have a complaint about the life expectancy of vibrators. The good ones ain't cheap!!!! I spent $150 on one and got 4 uses out of it before it expired.

Now, before you start making cracks about those most of been 4 marathon sessions .... :-)

Seriously, that is just not right!

Lady Estrogen on May 24, 2011 at 12:29 PM said...

What kinda dildo is that - or is she a super woman? haha.
My "Mr. Purple" gets a healthy workout on a fairly regualar basis, and he's been going strong for a couple years now. LOL.

Anonymous said...

One word...Hitachi!!

Anonymous said...

I have no words!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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