Jan 17, 2011

The Pale Pussy Martini

Posted by Tonia at Monday, January 17, 2011
By Anna

My post-(thank God) menopausal mother went for her dreaded yearly check-up the other day. During her pelvic exam the doctor nonchalantly announced that her vagina looked pale. Concerned, she asked what that meant – if she should be worried.

“No,” the doctor said, “It’s just pale.”

Relieved, but now feeling irreverent (her happy place) she responded, “Is it about to faint? Is it anemic? Is it unhappy? It’s obviously not embarrassed or it would be BLUSHING.” The doctor was not amused. But, following the exam, my mom rushed to the bar where I was working and, laughing hysterically, told us about her pale vagina. Feeling inspired, another bartender and I created the Pale Pussy Martini in honor of pale pussies everywhere. It’s actually really good! And, no, you don't have to have a pale pussy to drink one.

1 oz. Strawberry vodka
1 oz. Sweet and sour mix
1 oz. Sprite
Splash of cranberry juice


Shake it all up and serve in a sugar-rimmed martini glass. Great for any kind of women’s party - but especially a hysterectomy or menopause party. Or maybe you just want to serve it to your mother to shock her. Go ahead. Shock her. We can’t shock ours.

“I disagree with the use of the word "Pussy" to describe a weak person…the Vagina is the tougher of the two genitals. Think about it. It can pass something 50 times it's size through it. You can pound on it for hours and it goes "More! More!" It bleeds every month and doesn’t die! Meanwhile, my penis, if it gets cold or there's a fight, he's like "I'm outta here!" What I'm trying to say is...My Dick is a Pussy.” - Hal Sparks

5 comments:

Rachel on January 18, 2011 at 5:34 PM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
pauljkiernan on January 19, 2011 at 4:11 AM said...

A very moving and powerful story on the origins of this drink's name. Bravo!

Rachel on January 20, 2011 at 5:36 PM said...

Tonia should get a spray tan for her vagina!

Lady Estrogen on May 24, 2011 at 12:26 PM said...

Hahaa - that's funny.
Gawd, I wonder what shade of pink mine is lately - I'll have to get out my mirror and look under the hood.

Unknown on October 27, 2015 at 6:02 PM said...

I remember the relief I felt having been told I had a rosy cervix. I got to keep her in the hysterectomy.

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