Dec 31, 2011

Keepin’ It Alive: Vagina Care

Posted by Tonia at Saturday, December 31, 2011
By Tonia

“Charlotte: ‘Oh, my God! Vagina weights!’
Samantha: ‘Honey, my vagina waits for no man.’” – from Sex in the City

I went to the gynecologist a few weeks ago with … well … problems. Was diagnosed with “Vaginal Atrophy.” WHAT??? I mean, doesn’t a muscle atrophy when it goes unused for long periods of time? For the love of God, I may not be getting laid very often but I DO use a vibrator. Doesn’t that count for a relationship ... I mean ... for vagina use? Now I'm tempted to think of my vagina as a deteriorating, withered, cracked wasteland – a shell of its former Va-Jay-Jay glory.

I discovered that Vaginal Atrophy is an inflammation of the vagina due to decreased mucous secretions - part of the whole post-menopause thing. Guess my pussy has gone the way of my face – dry, drier, and DRYEST. Now I’m the Sahara Desert inside and out. I should have gotten a clue that I was drying up when, in the mornings, I had to pry my top lip off my teeth. I wonder if Estee Lauder has ‘gina moisturizers.

I thought that being post menopausal was going to be a GOOD thing. My children aren’t afraid of me any more; I don’t have to label things to remember what they are called; I no longer fantasize about living in the freezer. But it looks like I’ve gained all that just to suffer with Vaginal Atrophy.

Never one to moan and bitch TOO long I have researched some solutions:

(1) Water soluble lubricants. My car and I will both be getting lube jobs now. At least I don’t have to make an appointment for mine. While my partner is waiting for his Viagra to kick in, I’ll be applying my K-Y. Is K-Y cheaper if you order it by the case?

(2) Vaginally administered estrogen creams. You’ll need a prescription for this - which, of course, will mean an appointment in the stirrups. Ride ‘em, Cowgirl! But I want to know - what happens if my partner gets some of it on his penis? Does he grow breasts? Does his voice change?

(3) Regular sexual activity. Finally a solution that I can climb on…I mean, live with! Good sex = sending my vagina to the gym for a work out. I knew there could be a happy ending to this.

Girlfriend Party ideas? I say get your book club together and read Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex by Joan Price. It’s an honest and frank book about senior sexuality - the changes, the challenges, the surprises, and the delights. Discuss it; share your own experiences. Have some fun and get some ideas!


MsCheeVS on January 1, 2012 at 10:58 PM said...

Menopause? NEVER!

No, I'm not having a hotflash! It is just my inner child playing with matches.

But POST menopausal? Or symptoms that may form from it? Well if lots of sex is the cure, I'm allll for it! Smiles! :)

Jennifer on March 13, 2012 at 4:52 PM said...

I enjoyed reading your post, Tonia! Vaginal care is one of those hush-hush topics, but when it’s out in the open, women will definitely reap the benefits. But for the shy types, they can always start with their girl friends and their doctors.

- Jennifer West

Joan Price on April 19, 2014 at 2:21 PM said...

Thank you for recommending my book! There's a lot of information there that applies to exactly what you're discussing here.

FYI, I hope you'll explore other lubricants than K-Y -- there are some fabulous ones that you can get from a woman-friendly sex shop (online or brick-and-mortar), such as those I recommend on my blog,

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