Jan 31, 2012

Holy Smoke!

Posted by Tonia at Tuesday, January 31, 2012
by Tonia

“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.” – George Carlin

For those of you who follow our blog regularly you may have noticed we only had three posts in January. I have a good excuse. My apartment burned down. Honest to God. And I wasn’t even cooking! Hell, I wasn’t even in town. Got the fire without getting to ogle sexy firemen. I totally got ripped off.

How does one little careless cigarette butt start a huge fire when I can’t get a whole box of matches to start a friggin’ flame in my fireplace? The universe is not right.

After I saw the remains of my belongings and recovered from my psychotic break, I decided to use my tried-and-true coping skills: humor and Facebook. I posted what happened and forbid my friends from making any sweet, sentimental “I’m so sorry” comments. Instead I asked them to give me party suggestions for a FIRED UP party. So, if you are FIRED UP about something (a philanthropy project, a political cause, long lines at the post office...), here are some of my friends' fabulous party ideas:


(1) Serve flaming drinks or martinis with red hot candies
(2) Serve Cherries Jubilee, Baked Alaska or Bananas Foster
(3) Roast weenies and call it a Man Roast


(1) Bring in a fire eater who doubles as a stripper
(2) Burn your bras
(3) Create games with fire extinguishers


(1) Light my Fire by the Doors
(2) Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple
(3) Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash
(4) Through the Fire by Chaka Khan
(5) We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel
(6) Fire and Ice by Pat Benetar
(7) Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis
(8) Old Flames Can't Hold a Candle to You by Dolly Parton

And, by the way, if you’ve ever had thoughts of burning your house down, I don’t recommend it. But, if you have other FIRED UP party ideas, be sure to list them here!


growingmygirls on February 2, 2012 at 6:02 PM said...

Wonderful post and an excellent soundtrack for your life these days. I just can't agree more about how hard it is to start a miserable fireplace fire -- how can a cigarette do all that??

MsCheeVS on February 2, 2012 at 10:55 PM said...

Its so great you have such a supportive group of friends that keep you laughing. Don't forget "Play With Fire" Rolling Stones or "Fire" by Bruce Springsteen" in your soundtrack...

Just dont add fuel to the fire, get caught in the cross-fire, light a fire under, miss fire, open fire, play with fire or jump out of the fryng pan and into the fire!!

Lisa on February 5, 2012 at 5:49 PM said...

What???!!! Nooooooo!!!! Oh Tonia...sh*t. That seriously, SERIOUSLY sucks. Thank god for your amazing sense of humour. Jaysus, I knew you were hawt and all but, really? Apparently Vegas is in order, soon. xoxo

growingmygirls.com on January 7, 2013 at 10:36 AM said...

Glad that you are a whole year away from that! Here's hoping 2013 is calmer all around!

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