Mountain Sized Tantrums

By Rachel

“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children.’" ~ Susan Savannah

Every year my mother takes all of us (kids and grandkids) on a ski trip. We really look forward to this and typically have a fabulous time. However, after this year's trip, I may leave one of my brats children at home next time.
   
After a private ski lesson, I decided I could handle my 3 year old on the slopes. While going up the chair lift he decided to throw the tantrum of a lifetime. Because he was flinging himself from side to side on the lift, I couldn’t pull down the safety bar. By the time we got to the end of the lift, I was holding him by one arm as his entire body was hanging off the chair. Because we couldn’t just hop off, the chair swung around and started to take us back DOWN the mountain – still with the screaming 3 year old dangling below the chair. Fortunately, the operator stopped the lift and assisted us. <Note to self for next year: send kids to all-day ski school. Check to see if they offer after hours care through the evening and maybe overnight.>

But that is not the end of the story. Because the operator had to remove my son’s skis to get us untangled from the chair lift, my son then started screaming to put his skis back on. I tried to tell him I would put them on once he calmed down. But, by this time, he was completely out of control. He threw himself in the snow, screaming and flailing so that everyone getting off the lift looked at me as some kind of child abuser. I tried to tell them I had no idea who this poor child was and that I was looking for his mother. But he kept looking at me screaming, “MOMMY, put my skis on!” So much for peace in the mountains. We could hear his screams echoing for miles. One of the ski instructors asked if we wanted ski patrol to take my son down the mountain. I told him I wanted ski patrol all right - but for ME as I was about to pound my head against the nearest tree.

My mom stayed with us during the entire ordeal encouraging me to just ignore the screams. My husband, on the other hand, took off like a teenage boy with a promise of getting laid. Still plotting my revenge. Finally, after what seemed like centuries, my son calmed down and we skiied down the mountain for lunch. When I finally found my husband I told him it was HIS turn to watch the screamer kid. Handling lunch line crowds would be a breeze after what I had just been through. But I ended up changing lines because a group of people were talking about the “out of control kid” on the mountain. Hoping we’re not banned from the resort next year.

Invite your girlfriends over for a “Tantrum Party.” Take turns telling stories about your kids’ worst tantrums. Have everyone vote on which one is truly the worst and give a prize. Drink heavily and call a cab to get home. Here is a fabulous “snow” drink that we borrowed (OK, stole) from The Sweetest Temptations website. They have fabulous recipes so take a look HERE

Snowman Martini

2 ounces Pinnacle Whipped Vodka

1 ounce vanilla vodka

1 ounce Godiva White Chocolate liqueur (you can sub white creme de cacoa)

2 scoops of very melty vanilla ice cream— almost pourable

Instructions:

Put ice into martini glass to chill. Put a handful of ice and all of your ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake well. Remove the ice from the glass and pour. Garnish with a snowman “Peep” or a dollop of whipped cream.