Sleepless in Oklahoma

By Tonia

"People who say they sleep like babies usually don't have them."  ~  Leo J. Burke

A partner of mine in business (and his wife) recently had their first baby. Prior to their daughter’s birth, he boasted he wouldn’t be bothered by lack of sleep like “other” parents. “Sleep is overrated,” he said, “Only the weak need 8 hours.” Of course now he is putting his dirty laundry in the ‘fridge and the milk in the medicine cabinet. He asked me when he was going to get a decent night’s sleep again and I told him in 18 years. Trying to be a supportive friend....

I remember those sleepless nights with new babies – and then trying to run errands the next day. Sitting in traffic thinking “How the HELL do I get to the <drug store / post office / doctor’s office>? What road am I on? Where am I?” I remember spraying my armpits with hair spray, and going from a fairly fluent vocabulary to something bordering on Cro-Magnon communication – all unnecessary words dropped from my sentences:

"Hungry?"

"Uh."

"Want food?"

"Uh."

"We get burgers?"

"Uh. Mmmm."

So when I visited my friend and the baby I couldn’t resist taking the book, Go the Fuck to Sleep. If you’ve not seen it, it’s a pants-wettingly hilarious children's book written for adults. It absolutely captures the overwhelming frustration of trying to put the baby to sleep and feeling like you will never, ever leave the room again – or sleep again.

For your next girlfriends’ baby shower be sure to read Go the Fuck to Sleep. Click HERE to hear Samuel Jackson reading it. Then tell stories of the most outrageous things you've ever done because of lack of sleep.