No, Nope, No Thanks

By Tonia

“Tell him I was too fucking busy - or vice versa.” ― Dorothy Parker

Ah, “No” ... from the Latin word meaning to greatly amplify a woman’s guilt using a single syllable.

I’m not talking about sex here (besides, I rarely say “No” to that!). I’m talking about women’s inability to say “No” to favors and tasks that others request from us – serving on boards, volunteering in classrooms, running additional errands, taking on additional work on the job, etc. etc. etc. Saying “No” goes against our good-girl nature (yet another reason to be a bad girl!). We say, “Yes” when we really want to say, “No – and hell, no!”

There were times in my life when “No” never escaped my vocal chords. I probably needed some sort of speech therapy to formulate the sound. I practiced saying “No” in the mirror over and over but to no avail. I would hear "NO!" in my head but my *&%^ mouth would say, "OK," "Sure," "Happy to." I needed to unleash my inner 2-year old!

So I decided to think of ways to sound agreeable but still say “No.” Here they are. You’re welcome.

QUES: "Want to hang out Saturday?”

ANSWER: "Sure! I’ve got to paint the kitchen. Come on over.”

QUES: "Can I borrow your chapstick?"

ANSWER: "Sure! My herpes is almost cleared up.”

QUESTION: “Would you make your special cupcakes for the class party next week?”

ANSWER: “Of course! My kitchen is being renovated and I don’t have an oven. I’ll just bake them on the grill.”

QUES: "Do you mind if I date your ex?"

ANSWER: "No problem! I think he just got discharged from the psych unit and is looking for someone.”

QUES: "Can you babysit little Emma?"

ANSWER: "Would love it. You know, I really miss my kids since Child Protective Services took them away."

So for your next girlfriends’ get together, have a Just Say NO Party. Here are some ideas:

-- Hang “Say NO to YES” posters

-- Hang a poster board and invite everyone write on it the thing that they wish they could say “No” to.

-- Give everyone pencil and paper. Set a timer for 60 seconds and instruct everyone to write down as many ways to say “No” as they can think of.

-- Write various scenarios that need a “No” response on Jenga® blocks. Play the game by taking turns pulling out the blocks and responding to the scenarios in humorous ways.

ENJOY!