Birds of a Feather

Estrofests is thrilled to host our very first guest blogger. Lisa Thornbury is a kindred spirit and hilarious party blogger. Check her out at http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/party-mummy  

By Lisa Thornbury

Recently I attended a hen party to celebrate, well, nothing really - just a good excuse for the chicks to gather together. Generally girlfriends + alcohol + chips and dip = Foolproof  Girl’s Night In. However, to say this GNI was for the birds, is putting it mildly.

While the hostess excused herself to check on dinner, we girls entertained ourselves with the house pet, a chatty snow white cockatoo perched on a stand. I bravely coaxed the bird onto my shoulder and was feeling like one of those animal experts who frequent talk shows, until the little pecker...pecked me. I screamed, more from shock than pain and the bird took flight, flapping wildly over head. My red wine sloshed onto the cream colored ottoman as my hand flew to my cheek to assess the damage.

Some brave soul jumped up to grab the flailing bird, but only succeeded in knocking over an end table, while a not-so-brave soul sister dove headfirst into the couch and sought cover under a pile of cushions.  Who knew she’d been traumatized by a gaggle of aggressive geese as a child? Suddenly the music was playing at a deafening volume. One of the chicks had inadvertently perched upon the stereo remote. Was it a coincidence that Ce Lo’s “Fuck you” was playing? I think not. That bird was sending us a message loud and clear – he wanted us to go flock ourselves.

The pissed off bird then snuffed out a candle with his wing, leaving a column of black smoke behind as he bee-lined across the room.   After a dramatic display of flapping and squawking, he landed behind the couch. One of the girls took this opportunity to pounce. How could she have known the bird had just pooped on the floor? She slipped and came crashing down on the tile. Hard.

It was then the hostess returned from the kitchen to what she would later describe as “a scene akin to the apocalypse.”  A coil of smoke hung mid air above our friend who was now sobbing into a pillow. Music blared, shell shocked guests were scattered around the room, while one poor soldier was completely laid out on her back.  Meanwhile, the cocky cockatoo marched happily along the back of the couch, chatting away seemingly oblivious to evil plan he had just hatched.

Ironically, we had chicken for dinner.

Moral of the story?  Angry Birds belong on an iPhone, not a dinner party. If you ever find yourself needing to make amends for your pet’s beastly behavior, here’s the recipe for a Cockatoo Cosmo to help smooth your guests ruffled feathers.

Cockatoo Cosmo:

In a cocktail shaker, combine with ice:
2 oz citrus vodka
1 oz triple sec

1/2 oz fresh lime juice
2 oz pineapple juice

Shake well and pour into a martini glass. Garnish with a pineapple chunk and joy!

Lisa Thornbury is a soul sister with Estrofests. Having played bartender in a former life, Lisa absolutely knows her way around a cocktail shaker. Now with two kids in tow, she knows firsthand how harried moms forgo being a social butterfly to stay at home and cocoon. But she has learned that mummies still need to play. She continues to exercise her penchant for dreaming up playful, and practical party themes. She is known as the “Party Mummy” at the Yummy Mummy Club. We love you, Lisa!