Viva la Vagina

By Tonia

“A vagina is a terrible thing to waste.” – author unknown

At one of our outdoor annual parties we designate a place called Vagina Valley. One of the things guests can do there is finger paint pictures of their vaginas and post them on the fence. One year a friend’s 82 year old grandmother was overheard saying to her 80 year old sister, “Let’s go paint our vaginas!” Her sister said, “Noooo… I don’t think so,” and the grandmother chirped back, “Oh, come on. When in our lives will we ever get another chance to paint our vaginas?” So off they went to paint.

Like Eve Endsler, from the famed Vagina Monologues, we think its time to say and embrace (both symbolically and literally) our vaginas. After all, vaginas are NOT black holes in space where things get sucked in and never come back out. Vaginas are magnificent places where we receive/give pleasure and give birth.

Yet vaginas continue to be the mumbled body part – a shameful and dirty place. Consider how we’re told to clean our natural secretions for the sake of “feminine hygiene.” We want to know: Where are the products for men? Where is the Masculine Hygiene aisle at the grocery store? Where are the Penis Deodorants? The Semen Towels? The Ball Wipes? The Jockey Shorts Liners? But I digress.....

We think women should celebrate their vaginas. Ancient women did. Catalan fishermen’s wives displayed their genitals to the water for good luck before their men left for sea. Women in southern India were said to have held back dangerous storms by exposing themselves. And, up until the 1900s, peasant women in several western countries exposed their vulvas to their crops, shouting, 'Please grow as high as my genitals are now.'

So here are some of our ideas for your Viva la Vagina Party:

Play vagina games

1. Toss the KY through the vagina
2. Pin the clitoris to the vulva

Hang posters for guests to sign using the following sentence starters:

1. If my vagina had a name, it would be...
2. If my vagina wore clothes, it would wear...
3. If my vagina gave advise it would say...

Create a Vagina Compliment Box where guests can write compliments to their vaginas. Read these later as part of the evening's entertainment - with or without names.

Viva la Vagina!