Anxiety Girl

By Anna 

"Love looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head." - Mignon McLaughlin

Anxiety sucks. I know, because as a child the Bluebird of Happiness flipped me the bird and the Blue-hawk of Worry descended on me instead. I worry about work; I worry about my family; I worry about my car. I worry about my health, my teeth, the crack developing in the driveway, the tiny mole I just discovered on the back of my hand.…..you get the picture.

In fact, the only time that I am worry free is when I’m having a panic attack.

And the only fear that I DON’T seem to have is arachibutyrophobia – the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth. Yea, don’t have that one.

At night I try to turn away from worry by flip flopping in my bed – but that only leads to dreams of jumping off a ship, the world ending, running from a tsunami or hiding from raining asteroids. It’s exhausting. Then morning comes.

That’s when I start worrying about what to wear to work. I'm constantly thinking what the staff and managers will think about this/that outfit, these/those shoes: heels/no heels. And, by the time I leave for work, everything from my closet is in my bed and I'm running late. And the anxiety goes on…....

Research says 40 million Americans suffer with some kind of anxiety. Guess I’m not alone.  But where are you people?? You must be hiding. I will no longer be ashamed! I’m now admitting that I’m powerless and I'm taking one anxiety attack at a time.

So, in that vein, why not have a girlfriends’ Panic Party? Create some games that let your girlfriends laugh about their anxieties, depressions and self doubt – like a Bingo Game with squares such as Fear of Teenagers, Fear of Rectal Disease, Fear of Nudity, Fear of Farting During Sex, Fear of Staying Single Forever. You get the picture. And don’t forget to fix your Panic Potion drink.

PANIC  POTION

3/4 oz. Crown Royal 

2/4 oz. Peach Schnapps 

1/4 oz. Coconut Rum 

2/4 oz. Cranberry Juice 

1 cup Red Bull Energy Drink

Qty: 2 

Directions: Grab your shaker and put some ice in it. Don't second guess the quantity no matter how much it is. Pour in the crown, peach schnapps, coconut rum and cranberry juice, and shake. It will get cold but, DON’T WORRY, your hand won’t freeze to the shaker.

Pour the mixture between 2 shot glasses. Take 3 slow, deep breaths. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Now fill 2 high ball glasses with 1/2 cup each of Red Bull. Drop one shot glass into each high ball glass of Red Bull. It's OK, you can wipe any spills up later. And, no, it won't break. I wouldn’t ask you to drink broken glass.

Then shoot the whole thing. But go easy or, yes, you will chip a tooth. Enjoy!