Letting Go

By Anna

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.....by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” - Mark Twain  

You know all those “Stay calm and _____” cards? Yea. Well, I can’t stay calm - I have a couple anxiety disorders. I'm barely into my thirties and already I'm an expert on all things that can go catastrophically wrong with the universe. I worry about my gray hairs; I worry about my wrinkles. I worry about my job, my money, my car, my health. Hell, I’ve even started worrying about my worry!

This self-abusive, awful-izing mindfuck must stop. That’s why I need to turn myself around (but NOT by doing the Hokey-Pokey). So, with the Serenity Prayer, I'm learning to let GO of shit I can't control! I wanna' get me some of that serenity, God dammit!

Here are some things I’ve accepted that I can’t control:

   - I can’t control the screaming children and crying babies in my bridal shop. 

   - I can’t control the fact that the gap between my car seat and my car door is a    
     magnet for bits of wrappers and tiny trash.
   - I can’t control my ass enhancer sliding up my back.

   - I can’t control the nipple hair that grows around my areola.

   - I can’t control that I sometimes pee when I sneeze.

   - I can’t control that fucking play, buffer, play, buffer, play, buffer thing that

     happens when I watch videos on the internet.

   - I can’t control the fact that Hobby Lobby starts selling Christmas shit in July.

   - I can’t control my urge to pee as soon as I get comfortable in bed.

   - I can’t control my friend’s accidental pocket dialing me while she is having

     sex.

 

So instead of spending hours hunting and pulling gray hairs, I’m going to schedule a damn hair appointment every month; and instead of sighing loudly and rolling my eyes at the kids-gone-wild in my store, I’m going to smile and thank God they aren't mine. 

And here’s a Frazzle Me Not cocktail recipe for your next girlfriends’ get together:

Frazzle Me Not 

Pour the following ingredients into 12 oz cup of ice

3 oz vodka 

1 oz orange juice 

1 oz pineapple juice 

2 oz cranberry juice 

Stir with straw 

Top with Fresca and garnish with fruit

Sip and, for God's sake, LET GO!