My Vagina's Not in Vogue

by Tonia

“Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding” - Betty White

A friend of mine recently posted a link on my Facebook wall regarding a new bleaching product for vaginas. Later I heard about cosmetic coloring for vaginas - yes, pussy dye. So which is it? Am I supposed to bleach it or dye it? What do you think? Should I go lighter or darker?

 

And then I read that my va-jay-jay may be too floppy or too hairy. Really? How on earth do I decide what it should look like other than what it does look like? Hell, I can barely decide what outfit to wear each morning – much less what my va-jay-jay is “supposed” to look like.

But WAIT! There’s more! I’m also told that I need to clean my natural secretions for the sake of “feminine hygiene.” Why don’t men have these products? You know, Penis Deodorants and Ball Wipes? Frankly, I like to think of my vaginal secretions as my vagina drooling in happy anticipation of some tasty playtime.

I just can't buy that there are any bad vaginas – maybe misunderstood (and probably mishandled) - but not bad.

The friend that posted on my Facebook wall is male and wrote the following for Estrofests readers - in opposition to the way women are bombarded by the media about needing to "fix" themselves: 

Your vagina is beautiful.

Yes you heard me, it is perfect in every way.

There are ones that truly unfold like a Georgia O’Keefe painting, boldly, and beautifully expressing themselves.

And there are ones that unfold more slowly, with a kiss, a caress, and some warm affection.

Each vagina is unique, each special, and each wonderful.

Do not listen to the nonsense articles that somehow want to convince you otherwise. They are probably trying to feed into your self-doubts and fears, in order to sell you some product you don’t need, or convince you that you must somehow change, or that you are not worthy of some lofty goal you can only achieve by spending money on nonsense.

Embrace how your legs lead gently up to this very magical place. How your body points down to highlight, and bring attention to, its beauty. And realize how much pleasure it can provide you, and your lover. From the first glance, it is intriguing. A gentle brush with the fingertips brings both the vagina, and the fingers to life. Warmth, moisture, tingling excitement… a quickening of heartbeats, and heavy breathing. Hoping for more, yearning for more…. Magical, wonderful, sensuous…. To touch, to taste, to experience a piece of heaven…. Yes my dear, embrace all that is wonderful about your body, it is completely beautiful.

 

So, for your next girlfriends’ get together, celebrate your vaginas. Come in unique vagina costumes, fingerpaint pictures of your vaginas, and read up on vagina folklore. In fact, take a look at our previous blog regarding vagina party ideas (CLICK HERE) and have a ball …. I mean, have a vagina!