Dec 14, 2010

Jeez, I’m doin’ the Squeeze

Posted by Tonia at Tuesday, December 14, 2010
By Tonia

I joined a gym a few years ago after the spray-painted tan Ken doll showed me around. I signed up but didn’t see any results - until I realized you actually have to go there.

So I went. I pushed some equipment around with my arms and legs for a few minutes and then went out to the lobby to see what was going on. It seemed kind of boring so I found a comfortable chair and immediately fell asleep. Meanwhile upstairs a friend told my partner he had seen me when he came in. My partner said, “Yea, she’s working out downstairs.” And the snitch said, “No, she’s asleep in the chair.” Damn it. Busted.

Another time I decided I would walk my dogs at 5:30 in the morning to get some exercise, hoping I would get it done before my brain figured out I was exercising. Lasted three days.

My most recent experience was in Santa Fe, NM. I thought I signed up for a yoga class, but, surprise, it was a NIA class - a blend of martial arts, dance, and yoga. As a person who is grateful just to walk without falling, I looked like a twirling, chopping, downward facing dog at the fire hydrant.

Now days I consider putting my foot in my mouth, pushing my luck, and climbing the walls as my exercise regime. Those …… and kegels.
Kegel exercises strengthen pelvic floor muscles - and strong pelvic floor muscles contract more powerfully than flabby, out of shape pelvic floor muscles. Hence, the “Big O” can become the “Big O O O!” Personally, I’m trying to do 50,000 kegels a day. :) (Kegels also help reduce “leaking” when you sneeze and laugh, which can be a big cost savings on panty liners!)

A kegel party is a great way to get together with girlfriends to learn more about women’s sexual health. Invite a speaker or provide literature re: STDs, domestic violence, ovarian cancer, medications/supplements, libido, fertility, masturbation, menstruation, menopause, and, of course, how to do the kegel.  
Top the party off with a sing along to a wonderful, saucy, “squeeze along” song called, Do the Kegel. You can order or download it
from Be sure to listen to the Vulva Sisters singing a verse of it online!


AnnieOK on December 25, 2010 at 6:01 PM said...

Yeah for Kegels, I can work out and not break a sweat. Don't tell my husband there might be benefits for him because he'll ruin the whole thing!

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