New Years Party

By Tonia

Reflecting back on 2010 I can’t say that I kept one single resolution from last New Year. So this year I’m making resolutions that I know I can keep:

1.          Gain weight. I will eat large amounts of pizza and Haagen Daz ice cream in front of the TV and in the middle of the night. I will NOT buy coffee flavored, however, as this might give me energy to get up and actually do something – which would burn calories.

2.         Spend more money. I will denounce budgets as a plot from the devil. I will apply for numerous credit cards and challenge myself to see how high I can run up the balances. Maybe have a contest with a girlfriend.

3.         Start more conflicts with family members. This will be easy. I will accuse someone of stealing the old hydrocodone out of my medicine cabinet. Or of having an affair. If that doesn’t work I will tell my sister how our parents always loved me best (which they did).

4.         Ruin my reputation. I will stay out all night with strangers and go to work in the same clothes I had on the day before. I will yawn and groan frequently to my co-workers about how I did not sleep – and then give them a wink.

Whew. There. Glad that’s done. Now, I can move on to parties.

Did you know that humans have been celebrating the new year for 4000 years? Seriously. Babylonians began celebrating New Year around 2000 B.C. They celebrated for 11 days. Obviously, those people knew how to party!

If you want to party, but want to avoid the whole restaurant/hotel scene (you know the one - with formalwear and dates), consider a girlfriends’ party. Ask your girlfriends to bring snacks. Find a drink from our Drink Recipes tab. Then try these fortune cookies* for an activity:

Fortune Cookies:
Make fortune cookies and fill them with goofy and quirky fortunes for the new year. Write your own based on your girlfriends’ personalities or pet-peeves. OR use Mae West quotations as fortunes……

• "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
• "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
• "All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”
• "Its not the men in your life that matters, its the life in your men."
• "Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often."
• "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!"
• "It is better to be looked over than overlooked."
• "Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly."
• "If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!"
• "A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up."

Take turns telling one another how the “fortune” you selected is perfect. Or read your selected “fortune” and dedicate it to a girlfriend. Or just eat the whole damn cookie – “fortune” and all…..

* FYI - Historians believe that Fortune Cookies were not really created to include “fortunes.” Rather, they originated from Chinese soldiers who slipped messages into “mooncakes” to coordinate battle plans. I guess Fortune Cookie sounded better than Massacre Cookie.