Sep 13, 2011

Gone to the Dogs

Posted by Tonia at Tuesday, September 13, 2011
by Tonia
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez 

Remember when families had a family dog? A single dog? What happened to those days? Americans now have family dog packs. A friend recently had a house-warming party—she didn’t even specify “pet friendly” and somehow there were more dogs than people in attendance. What is that about? We need more tail wagging in our lives? More holes in the yard? More shit? 

I have two dogs. Their names are Vodka and Cognac - aka Dumb and Dumber or Demon and Devil. They’re sisters but I have to admit that their IQ points did not get equally distributed: one is semi-mentally handicapped and the other is too smart for her own good. They are Siberian Huskies, but they high-tail it inside in the cold weather and shed like Mother F#*kers in the heat. You cannot imagine the billows of dog hair that dance across my floor like Texas tumbleweed. If I ever find a marketable purpose for dog hair I’ll be a rich woman.


Huskies are terrible watchdogs. For one thing, they don’t bark. And for another, they love everyone. A stranger is just a very, very new friend. If someone broke into our house, they would wag their stupid tails and bring toys.

Huskies also love to run - think Iditarod. Anytime the front door opens and we're not blocking their exit with all four limbs they take off like bats out of hell. They have explored several neighborhoods, parks, schools, shopping malls, banks, and convenience stores in our time zone. They even ended up on the World Wide Web when someone found them and posted ‘Lost Huskies’ on Craig’s List. They weren’t lost. They were just out socializing. They know the area so well they could give tours to the new dogs in the neighborhood.

One of our dogs loves chocolate. Loves it more than most women love chocolate during PMS. Yes, I know it's not good for dogs to eat chocolate. But this dog can find chocolate better than a chocolate GPS system. And she has discerning taste. One time we had some Hershey’s chocolate and some Neuhaus chocolate on the counter. Did she take the Hershey’s? Noooooooo…..she knew her chocolate. Ate all the Neuhaus – paper and all. 

So if a dog is man’s best friend what is a woman’s best friend (besides her fabulous girlfriends, that is)? Tell us what you think.

And, at your next girlfriends’ get together, order some DOG GONE WINE – a portion of the profits go to support a dog non-profit organization. Check out their Poodle Pinot, Basset Hound Blackberry Wine, Pug Pear Wine and Pomeranian Pomegranate Wine HERE.

2 comments:

growingmygirls on September 18, 2011 at 9:18 AM said...

Took a walk this am with our dog and thought of you -- your dogs are beautiful. Our dog, Lucy is finally getting slow and fat enough that she struggles to keep up on walks -- it makes me sad. But all that said, cats are the best. They can consistently do what few other beings can do or will do -- curl up in your arms and purr....

kidspartyheaven on September 27, 2011 at 1:32 PM said...

Ah this post brings back such memories of our dog Tiny ( RIP). He was a not so tiny Rottie/ Lab mix, shiny black and the softest dog ever known to man/woman/children/other dogs. He was also terribly epileptic and was on massive doses of human drugs to try and bring his seizures down. We lost the battle after he had 9 really long seizures the night my mum died. ( Coincidence? Who knows.) Suffice it to say I thought that while I was in mourning mode I may as well screw my courage Lady Macbeth style to the sticking place and take him for his last trip to the vets. He was only 3.
Sadly missed.

But he died happy with a biscuit in his mouth on my knee.

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