Sep 8, 2011

The Honeymoon Period and It's Inevitable Demise

Posted by Tonia at Thursday, September 08, 2011
By Anna

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford

My experience is that after a zillion I-would-rather-be-having-something-waxed first dates, I eventually find someone and have some chemistry. Hooray! I didn’t drown in the dating pool!

So then comes the honeymoon period. You know it. It’s when everything your partner does is smart, adorable, and perfect. It’s hilarious the way he leaves the toilet seat up; it’s  fascinating the way he talks about himself.

Relationship experts tell us that in early attraction our brains drug us with phenylethylamine (PEA) and oxytocin … impressed that I know these big words?  PEA is like methamphetamine, and oxytocin is like heroin.  I figure this means the best of both kinds of high – vigor/energy combined with dreamy/drowsy. Hell, I’m in! 

But, sadly, we build a tolerance to these brain-flooding “drugs” and start to “sober up.” Here’s how you’ll know you're sobering up: 

- You used to wear lacey thongs. Now it’s cotton briefs.
- You used to wear Victoria's Secret push up bra. Now it’s a tankini.
- You used to get the Brazilian wax job. Now you’re sporting a 70s bush.
- You used to call into work so you could stay in bed with your sweetie. Now you make excuses to work late.
- You used to make out until your face was raw.  Now you say, "Go shave!"
- You used to go to the gym several times a week. Now you’re stopping by Braums twice a week at 11pm.
- You used to quietly pee with the door shut. Now you're having full-fledged conversations from the toilet.
- You used to quietly sneak out of the room when he snored. Now you beat him with a pillow until he wakes up.
- You used to gaze into his eyes and hang on every word. Now you just roll your eyes.

My drink for you – The Upgrade

The Upgrade

1 part Bailey's
1 part Butterscotch Liquor
1 part Jagermeister
1/2 part Cinnamon Schnapps

Shake well w/ice & strain into chilled rocks glass. Drink up. You deserve it.

2 comments:

AnnieOK on September 9, 2011 at 12:34 PM said...

Oh, so you know about those big huge granny panties huh?

MsCheeVS on September 9, 2011 at 10:13 PM said...

OMG...Im sooooo there!!!! Ha ha ha! Give me back the drugs...i miss the old days!!!

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