Celebrate the Shero in You

Estrofests is so excited to host guest blogger, Cela DeLaRosa. Cela is a freelance copywriter by day and grrrlfriends' party thrower extraordinaire by night. Check out her party idea here and her website below!

By Cela DeLaRosa

Notice how many kick-butt Snow White movies came out this year? And superhero movies? Well, last month pop culture collided with my monthly gal-pal party, turning Game Night into "Shero Night."

Capes were optional, so most party guests arrived in their secret-identity/alter-ego outfits (Diana Prince instead of Wonder Woman). We started out with a "name that shero" game, where the first one to correctly name all 15 heroic women pictured won a prize. (A cool-gel "super" mask -- great for soothing sinus headaches or putting out hot flashes.)

Then, we each had to answer 30 questions to determine "which superhero are you?" As we were working through the questions (see below), one of my friends quipped, "These questions are really about us, not superheroes, right?" I just laughed and we continued with the game.

While the players calculated their superhero scores, the room got quiet. Then, faster than a speeding bullet, it hit me. My friend was right -- my living room was full of heroic women. Cancer survivors, athletes, single mothers, special ed teachers, bionic women, community volunteers, spiritual leaders, pet rescuers, healers, mentors, caregivers, crusaders for social justice... and then some.

I truly have some awesome grrrlfriends -- super women in their own right! <insert super sigh here>

Now, back to the superhero scores: it turned out no one was Super Girl, but we had one Invisible Woman, several Bat Girls, a few Cat Women, and one Wonder Woman (our oldest party gal -- who knew?).

We continued celebrating our awesomeness with a contest of three heroic feats:

1. Bending steel with our bare hands (making mini-handcuffs out of twist ties).
2. Flying (a paper airplane made from the superhero questionnaire).
3. Blowing super-sized bubbles (with Super Bubble gum, of course!).

After awarding the last gel-mask prize, we adjourned to the kitchen for some epic refreshments. We had shero sandwiches (like hero sandwiches, but with more lettuce, pickles and greens) and a choice of super beverages: Isis Tea, Pink Power Ranger Punch, and Kryptonite (margaritas).

So, the next time you get together with your gal pals, see which superheroes show up to the party. Ask these 30 yes-or-no questions (but don’t reveal the points until all questions are answered):

1. Do you like to fly?
2. Do you like to wear a cape?
3. Are you very virtuous?
4. Do you hate the color green?
5. Are you obviously very strong?
6. Do you like long hair?
7. Are you extremely talented in only one area?
8. Do you like your younger brother?
9. Do you enjoy working behind the scenes?
10. Do you have lots of energy?
11. Do you like working on a team?
12. Are you a good mother?
13. Are you an intelligent geek?
14. Do you like riding motorcycles?
15. Do you admire police officers?
16. Do you enjoy going to the library?
17. Are you a hopeless romantic?
18. Do you like high-tech gadgets?
19. Do you like to wear leather?
20. Are you a flirt?
21. Do you have long fingernails?
22. Have you ever stolen anything?
23. Do you really like cats?
24. Are you good at gymnastics?
25. Do you have strong powers of persuasion?
26. Are you good with your hands?
27. Do you like wearing a pushup bra?
28. Do you have hidden strength?
29. Do you speak more than 1 language?
30. Are you a feminist?

Now for the points: all "No" answers are 0 points. "Yes" answers for questions 1-6 are worth 1 point each; 7-12 are 2 points each; 13-18 are 3 points each; 19-24 are 4 points each; 25-30 are 5 points each.

Ready for the big reveal?

Total scores of 17 or less are Super Girl.

Scores from 18 to 36 are Invisible Woman.

Scores from 37 to 53 are Bat Girl.

Scores from 54 to 72 are Cat Woman.

Scores from 73 to 90 are Wonder Woman.

You might be surprised how many sheroes are hiding behind a secret identity in your circle of friends!

Cela DeLaRosa is a freelance copywriter (www.wordstosellby.com) who is always looking for new party game ideas. She started hosting monthly game nights about 15 years ago to bring her grrrlfriends together in a cozy, conversational setting. In her home no topic is taboo, no one is expected to act her age, and no tipping is required. (Bonus: game nights also motivate her to thoroughly clean her house at least once a month.) She found out about Estrofests from her fun-loving and talented niece, Grace Ballard. Thanks, Gracey!

Fiasco on the Fourth

By Rachel

"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand." - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent my first 4th of July in rural Texas this year. This meant we could legally shoot off flaming fire hazards – aka fireworks.

Now, I should tell you, fireworks are a BIG deal in Texas. There are fireworks stands on every street corner with signs that read:  “Buy one, get fifteen free!” 

My husband was thrilled. He and a friend went to get fireworks - not at a fireworks stand, mind you – a fireworks warehouse! I told him to purchase Ground Bloom Flowers, Killer Bees and Sparklers (all with low damage potential). He came home with Lucky Space Rockets, Multi-colored Bombshells, Thunder Mountains, Pyro Pulverizers and a Pyrotechnic Motherlode. His car was packed.

ME: “Are you planning on blowing up the whole damn neighborhood?”

HIM: “No. The guy at the store said people really like these.”

ME: “And people really like to put cherry bombs down toilets, too, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.”

HIM: “I couldn’t get the things on your puny list when everyone else had all kinds of cool rockets and bombshells. It would have been embarrassing.”

ME: “Well, don't be looking for fireworks with me later!” 

At dusk, our neighbors began shooting off an impressive display of fireworks. My husband grabbed his gear. The kids and I ran to the other side of the street. Hubby shot his first rocket right into the gutter and caught the gutter debris on fire. He looked for his fire extinguisher and realized he had forgotten it. Shock and horror filled the faces of the adults. “Cool! Do that AGAIN!” shouted the kids. We all began throwing cups of water into the gutter and were able to extinguish the fire before the fire department had to be called. Next year I’m going to my mother’s.

And the next time you have an outdoor party and need to cool things down a bit, serve these wonderful yogurt popsicles!

Strawberry and Banana Yogurt Popsicles

1 cup of sliced strawberries

1 cup of mashed bananas

2 cups of vanilla yogurt

Puree the strawberries, bananas and yogurt in a food processor (or blender). Pour into ice cream molds or you can use Dixie cups with popsicle sticks. Freeze for 5 hours. Enjoy! 

Seeing Red

by Anna

After moving my mother 4 times in 1 year (due to minor disasters like divorce and an apartment fire), we finally moved her into a cute, comfy house of her own in May. But, of course, Mom spends her summers in Santa Fe, so she basically just dropped off all her shit and ran for the hills…..or high desert. While she is away on her "sabbatical," I'm to tend the lawn, water the flowers, check the mail, AND paint the bathroom….. 

The bathroom. Mom chooses RED, electric RED, to go over the former owner’s newly painted brown bathroom. She buys "primer paint" which supposedly allows you to skip a step in the whole painting process. Fail. Fail. FAIL. This bitch red has taken not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 coats of paint. I'm wearing more red to work now...I've even painted my nails 80s Slut Red! I may be feeling blue, but I’m seeing red….

And, I want you to know that this is the smallest bathroom known to womankind with all kinds of little partial walls and nooks and crannies. I have become quite the contortionist. I was holding my own unique yoga poses for over 20 minutes at a time. (There will be NO pictures!)

So have your girlfriends over and have yourself a free style yoga party! It's good for your mind and good for your muscles.

And, after a few of these drinks, you'll soon know who the most flexible woman of your group is. Hire her to paint all of your small, hard to reach places cuz I’m on my way to the chiropractor.....

Red Spicy Bitch 

1 part pepper vodka 

2 parts V8

Combine into shaker with half ice, shake and poor into martini glass. Oh, yea, and drink….

Words of Wisdom from the Aging

by Tonia
   

“Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.” - Bob Monkhouse

I recently had a birthday. I realize that having birthdays is better than the alternative but, for God’s sake, it seems like they’re coming every other week now! I’m definitely getting older sooner than I expected.

I’m actually an official AARP member now. It gets me some discounts, but not for anything cool like Botox, pole-dancing lessons, drinks at the bar, or sex toys. I’m kinda’ at that awkward age: old enough to know better but young enough to want to do it.

Since I’ve been around a few years, I’d like to pass on some words of wisdom to the younger readers. You know, things I’ve learned in life. (Pay attention, RACHEL and ANNA!):

**I’ve learned that being with family is better than being in an automobile accident.

**I’ve learned that collagen loss never goes into remission.

**I’ve learned that any recipe can be improved if you add a bottle of wine to it.

**I’ve learned that "Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not only an effective fire safety technique, it’s a great way to get out of a boring conversation.

**I’ve learned that after having my way with a bowl of Haagen Daz ice cream, I no longer want to have sex – AND no one wants to have sex with me.

**I’ve learned that no matter how neatly I put away Christmas lights, they will be tangled the next year when I take them out.

**I’ve learned that the cuter the shoes, the more they hurt my feet – often only getting me from the parking lot to my office where I have to stay seated all day.

**I’ve learned that house-cleaning is like bad sex – it goes on too long and I’m not nearly satisfied.

**I’ve learned that paying my taxes with a smile is not enough – they want money.

For your next girlfriends get-together, ask everyone to bring several of their “What I’ve learned in life” nuggets of wisdom on index cards. Hang these on some kind of small tree or tree branch as part of your decorations. (And you can practice on us by giving us YOUR nuggets of wisdom in the comments below.)

If you’ve got a chronologically gifted group, pass out the following list of names for cocktails. Ask each guest to select a name and make up a cocktail recipe for it. If you have enough ingredients, you could set them out and have each of your guests MAKE their cocktail and engage in taste-testing! Be sure to call cabs when you’re done!

Viva Viagra

Aching Joints

Behind the Times

Flaming Pharmaceutical

Social Security Setback

Ben Gay 

Corpse Reviver

Hormone Replacement Therapy

"Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up." - John Wagner

Taking a Ride on the Wild Side

by Rachel
"Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings." - Evan Esar

My husband and I took the kids to the drive-thru animal park. My brother-in-law tagged along because he doesn’t have a life. When we got there, hubby and I almost had to hock our wedding rings to buy the animal food. Holy crap! What do they put in that stuff? Steak? Lobster? GOLD? 

As we began our journey through the park, the brother-in-law (BIL) said he was going to feed the ostriches by hand. Idiot. I reminded him that there were signs saying NOT to hand-feed the animals - especially the ostriches because they can be aggressive.

Like his brother, he didn’t listen to me. An ostrich approached the car. BIL lured it to his window and began feeding it from his hand. The ostrich soon grew weary of this and began pecking at his lap trying to grab the bag of food. (I would have liked for it to have grabbed a part of his lap ANATOMY!) All we heard was “Ouch! Ouch! OUCH!” My husband was laughing so hard he almost ran the car into a tree. I was not amused… The ostrich finally won - grabbed the ENTIRE bag of food, threw it on the ground and began devouring it. 

I broke up the few remaining pieces of food and gave them to the kids so they could feed some animals. We were supposed to be there for them, after all! They were excited when the Aoudads (look like rams) came close to the car and began eating the pellets dropped on the ground beside the car. Then we heard a scraping sound – and realized that their horns were scratching the side of his car. A priceless moment was watching hubby’s laugh turn into a look of horror. Glad we took HIS car and not mine.

So, take a walk on the wild side and go with some girlfriends to the zoo or animal park. Study up on the strangest animal mating habits - such as bees whose testicles explode when they mate. (For more strange mating habits and some good animal porn, click here) And take along some of these fabulous chocolate cookies. They are one of my FAVORITES and so easy to make (shhhh….don’t tell….they are made with a brownie mix).

 Brownie Chocolate Cookies

1 package (16 oz.) brownie mix

½ cup melted butter

1 egg (beaten)

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

Confectioners’ sugar for rolling

Stir the brownie mix and flour in a large bowl. Add the egg and melted butter and stir to combine. Refrigerate 1-2 hours. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Scoop the dough into 1-inch balls and roll in confectioners’ sugar. Bake until the cookies rise but are still a little soft in the center, 10 to 15 minutes. Enjoy!