Fiasco on the Fourth

By Rachel

"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand." - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent my first 4th of July in rural Texas this year. This meant we could legally shoot off flaming fire hazards – aka fireworks.

Now, I should tell you, fireworks are a BIG deal in Texas. There are fireworks stands on every street corner with signs that read:  “Buy one, get fifteen free!” 

My husband was thrilled. He and a friend went to get fireworks - not at a fireworks stand, mind you – a fireworks warehouse! I told him to purchase Ground Bloom Flowers, Killer Bees and Sparklers (all with low damage potential). He came home with Lucky Space Rockets, Multi-colored Bombshells, Thunder Mountains, Pyro Pulverizers and a Pyrotechnic Motherlode. His car was packed.

ME: “Are you planning on blowing up the whole damn neighborhood?”

HIM: “No. The guy at the store said people really like these.”

ME: “And people really like to put cherry bombs down toilets, too, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.”

HIM: “I couldn’t get the things on your puny list when everyone else had all kinds of cool rockets and bombshells. It would have been embarrassing.”

ME: “Well, don't be looking for fireworks with me later!” 

At dusk, our neighbors began shooting off an impressive display of fireworks. My husband grabbed his gear. The kids and I ran to the other side of the street. Hubby shot his first rocket right into the gutter and caught the gutter debris on fire. He looked for his fire extinguisher and realized he had forgotten it. Shock and horror filled the faces of the adults. “Cool! Do that AGAIN!” shouted the kids. We all began throwing cups of water into the gutter and were able to extinguish the fire before the fire department had to be called. Next year I’m going to my mother’s.

And the next time you have an outdoor party and need to cool things down a bit, serve these wonderful yogurt popsicles!

Strawberry and Banana Yogurt Popsicles

1 cup of sliced strawberries

1 cup of mashed bananas

2 cups of vanilla yogurt

Puree the strawberries, bananas and yogurt in a food processor (or blender). Pour into ice cream molds or you can use Dixie cups with popsicle sticks. Freeze for 5 hours. Enjoy!