"Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings." - Evan Esar
My husband and I
took the kids to the drive-thru animal park. My brother-in-law tagged along
because he doesn’t have a life. When we got there, hubby and I almost had to
hock our wedding rings to buy the animal food. Holy crap! What do they put in
that stuff? Steak? Lobster? GOLD?
As we began our journey
through the park, the brother-in-law (BIL) said he was going to feed the
ostriches by hand. Idiot. I reminded him that there were signs saying NOT to
hand-feed the animals - especially the ostriches because they can be aggressive.
Like his brother,
he didn’t listen to me. An ostrich approached the car. BIL lured it to his
window and began feeding it from his hand. The ostrich soon grew weary of this
and began pecking at his lap trying to grab the bag of food. (I would have
liked for it to have grabbed a part of his lap ANATOMY!) All we heard was
“Ouch! Ouch! OUCH!” My husband was laughing so hard he almost ran the car into
a tree. I was not amused… The ostrich finally won - grabbed the
ENTIRE bag of food, threw it on the ground and began devouring it.
I broke up the few
remaining pieces of food and gave them to the kids so they could feed some
animals. We were supposed to be there for them, after all! They were excited
when the Aoudads (look like rams) came close to the car and began eating the pellets
dropped on the ground beside the car. Then we heard a scraping sound – and
realized that their horns were scratching the side of his car. A priceless
moment was watching hubby’s laugh turn into a look of horror. Glad we took HIS
car and not mine.
So, take a walk on
the wild side and go with some girlfriends to the zoo or animal park. Study up
on the strangest animal mating habits - such as bees whose testicles explode when they mate. (For more strange mating habits and some good animal porn, click
here) And take along some of these fabulous
chocolate cookies. They are one of my FAVORITES and so easy to make
(shhhh….don’t tell….they are made with a brownie mix).
1 package (16 oz.) brownie mix
½ cup melted butter
1 egg (beaten)
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
Confectioners’ sugar for rolling
Stir the brownie
mix and flour in a large bowl. Add the egg and melted butter and stir to
combine. Refrigerate 1-2 hours. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Scoop the
dough into 1-inch balls and roll in confectioners’ sugar. Bake until the
cookies rise but are still a little soft in the center, 10 to 15 minutes. Enjoy!
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