The Hampered Hamster

By Rachel

“My god! It’s a hamster with explosives taped around its waist!” – Colin Mochrie

We moved into a new house this summer. No one warned me about pet adjustment. The dog wouldn’t leave the friggin' area rug for the first two days – like it was some giant security blanket. We had to bring her food and water and put it ON the rug - AND had to CARRY her outside to do her business. For the love of God…

And then there was the hamster. It’s just a rodent, right? Well, this little rodent has a mind of her own.  Even under normal circumstances she doesn't like anyone messing with her nest. She stands on her hind legs and curses after I clean her cage (sounds like squeaking to the untrained ear). Like all of the animals in our house (and a few of the humans *ahem*) she is neurotic as hell.

So, when we moved, she turned escape artist. We found her on the stairs and in the game room - but always fairly quickly after her escape. One time, however, she was gone for two days. My daughter was devastated; cried for hours. I made an elaborate plan to buy a replacement hamster and pass it off as “Fluffy.” But, before I had to take a picture of Fluffy to all the pet stores in town, my husband found her!

She had started a new life for herself in the laundry room. She’d been stealing dog food from the dog dish and stockpiling it. Seems she had turned survivalist. I think I saw some camouflage and Lego weapons in her camp as well. We’ve now added an alarm system and a barbed wire fence to the hamster cage to prevent future escapes.  

And I gotta’ have a talk with the dog. Not sure if she let the hamster bully her out of her lunch – or if she was just too damn lazy to get up and do anything about it. I’m suddenly not feeling too safe with this “watch dog.”

But, in celebration of finding Fluffy, I made our favorite peanut butter cookies! These are simple to make and are always a big hit at parties! I know your girlfriends will love them!

Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup peanut butter

1 cup sugar

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 egg 

   

Mix all of the ingredients together in a bowl (or dog dish - whatever). Roll dough into 1 inch balls and use a fork to flatten them on a cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 6-8 minutes or until golden brown. Freeze some if you're into that stockpiling thing!

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