Jun 7, 2011

The Underside of Underwear

Posted by Tonia at Tuesday, June 07, 2011
By Anna
I recently decided to go through my underwear drawer. OMG. Why do I keep those ratty panties with the stains and elastic hanging off? And the ones with the holes in the crotch (not the sexy crotchless)? Why don’t I just go and buy new ones? After all, I remember what mom said about being caught in an accident …… Maybe, if I were more like Superman wearing my underwear on top of my outfits, I’d be more particular.
Underwear communicates, too. If I wear a thong I’m in the mood. If I wear the stained, cotton brief it’s either laundry day or I’m on my period.

And why is it that dogs love to eat the crotches out of panties? We have a dog that literally steals the panties out of our laundry baskets and takes them under the bed to have a flossing session … or a snack … or whatever. My niece saw one of these pairs of underwear in my drawer and asked if my farts burned a hole in them. Little brat.

If guys only knew. We can be all dressed up – and unless we think we’re getting lucky that night – we can have the dingiest and saggiest undergarments on. OR we’re wearing so much spandex that there’s no way he’s going to wrestle us out of it. Remember Bridget Jones?

BTW, I did a little research on undies. Seems that a third of us don’t even know our correct size - Small, Medium or Large. And, supposedly, 56% of us fold our underwear before putting them away while 27% of us just toss them in a drawer. What are the other 17% doing??? Buying new each time? Ironing and hanging? Not changing them? Help me here. Seriously, I’d love to see some comments on this.
And for your next girlfriends get-together (and in honor of women’s underwear), here is a fabulous drink recipe called the Panty Dropper. And I can attest to the fact that it has dropped a few of mine.
Panty Dropper

1 oz raspberry vodka
1 oz blueberry scnapps
1 oz cranberry juice

Makes one drink so be sure to multiply!

3 comments:

wratwrds on June 11, 2011 at 9:08 AM said...

I'm a tosser. Fold my underwear? You gotta be kidding.
I think at least some of that other 17 percent went to the abyss -- home of the missing other sock(s), my favourite black top and about 13 sets of car keys.
About the dog? Ours once got loose, undies in mouth, and was chased through neighbourhood yards by moi and assorted kids as some freakin cutish repairman (who let the dog out when he came to the door)looked on, amused.. Eek City.

Pam @writewrds

Tonia on June 14, 2011 at 5:17 PM said...

Pam - LOVE the chase story! Thanks for sharing!

AnnieOK on June 25, 2011 at 7:30 PM said...

Grungy undies...I have too much experience with this one. As a young NCO, I got the "honor" of witnessing urinalysis testing of my fellow female Air Force members. Why me? I talk wayyy too much to be a good observer and...oh, yes, I am the lowest ranking female NCO. So, off to what I came to call the grungy panty parade. Here are some surprising observations. The homely girls had the most expensive, if not utilitarian undies. The aircraft mechanics wore the racy one and the cops...well, they often didn't wear any. The public affairs gal wore men's tighty whiteys (this was way before it was chic to do so, She informed me that she had stayed at her brother's house the night before and this was a family tradition (TMI).
Mostly, I saw just what Tonia saw, dog eaten, fart impaled, period stained, challenged elastic and...everyone was in the wrong size!!!

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