Doubling Your Money

By Tonia

“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard

I love to spend money. I’m not just self-indulgent about it; I also enjoy being generous with others. I’ve sort of lived under Oscar Wilde’s philosophy of  “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” However, it recently dawned on me that I need to be saving more. I need to be saving for some upcoming expenses and for my approaching (I hope) retirement.

You see, I’ve not done well in the stock market. In fact, if I buy a particular stock, you should pay close attention because it will IMMEDIATELY go down and then YOU will be able to buy low. I’m actually thinking about buying a cemetery so people will quit dying.

But the good news about my retirement is that even though I’ve not saved enough money, I DO have 300,000 little packs of sugar, hot sauce and crackers stored away! That'll help. And I have some new money-saving strategies. I’ll share them with you:

   -- Instead of buying new shoes, simply spray paint the old ones a different color. People will THINK they’re new! But, when walking, be sure not to bend your feet or toes because the paint will crack.

   -- Eliminate all light bulbs. Not only will you save on having to purchase them, you’ll save on electricity. Simply use night vision glasses, which can be bought cheaply at any military hardware store.

   -- Empty your car of non-essential weight. The heavier your car is, the more gas you burn, so leave non-essential items at home, including relatives. In fact, try not to have kids. That’s a lot of weight in the car, not to mention what it costs to feed those little fuckers!

   -- Always wondered what you could do with that old dryer lint? Stuff it in the cracks of your windows and doors to reduce heating and cooling bills. If you have pets you can use their shedded hair for this as well.

   -- Reuse all wrapping paper and aluminum foil so that you never have to purchase them again! My own mother was my inspiration for this. I think she only used three rolls of foil her entire life.

   -- Separate that 2-ply toilet paper. You’ll get double your money that way. And, hey, if your hand gets a little wet while wiping, you’re going to wash them anyway.

So, for your next girlfriends’ get-together, throw a S-T-R-E-T-C-H Your Dollar Party. Ask guests to bring their favorite low-cost dish (so YOU can eat free that night) and 10 of their best money-saving ideas to share with the group. Do a coupon swap and organize a babysitting co-op. But don’t scrimp on the alcohol. Must have fabulous spirits!

Give us some of your money-saving ideas in the comments below!

Swap is the New Shop

Estrofests is thrilled to host guest blogger, Cynthia Marshall Shore. Cynthia is a writer and happy mother of two beautiful daughters. She blogs about her adventures in parenting girls to women at http://growingmygirls.com . 

By Cynthia Marshall Shore


I just threw my first clothes swap and now I’m hooked. I’ve got some new-to-me clothes and a more organized closet – what could be better? No clothes in a landfill, wonderful free duds, and that all-important itch of discontent now scratched. Life is good! Good food and drinks, great friends, new outfits - the urge to organize a husband-swap has now disappeared. Strange how that works.… 


When throwing a clothes swap, it’s important to set the scale to your comfort level. At my first swap, a birthday potluck, women burrowed through wrinkly clothes in tattered paper bags, tossing unwanted things aside, leaving me to scrounge around on the floor. (Which yes, I did. I love new clothes.) Even so, I came home with something I still wear – but I did wash it first.

The second one wasn’t technically a swap. It had racks filled with our elegantly hung and low-to-moderately priced contributions, many of them from labels I only dream of. There were tables laid out with rows of high heels and bags and a local knitwear designer came to sell her wares at full price. It was held in a beautiful, high-modern house and champagne was served. The floor was carefully avoided. Very fun, but didn’t come home with much.

My friend, Molly (her blog as a wannabe DIY superhero can be found here), and I modeled our clothes swap on the third swap I went to: an appetizer potluck. Clothes were laid out carefully on couches, tables and (recently vacuumed) carpets. Guests provided the good food; we provided the good wine (well ... ahem ... at least it was chilled). Husband was banished to his office; oldest daughter was permitted. In fact, she made the first score – a pair of patchwork pink Converse high tops. The grown-ups were shy at first, clinging to their plates of crackers and cheese, until Molly and I broke the ice, picking out pieces and bringing them to people. Soon, we were all stripping down in the living room, seeing what would fit. We watched each other try things on, gave advice, talked about foundation underwear and made boob jokes whenever someone squeezed into a low-cut dress.

Of course, there’s always one – be prepared – always one woman who looks great in everything she tries on and takes home more than anyone else. Sigh. She looked fabulous and the rest of us went back for a second round of dessert.

But everybody found something. All unwanted leftovers were taken to a thrift store except those grown-up pieces that got snapped up during my daughter’s end-of-swap scrounge. Her style theme in the last few days is now “elegant and baggy.”

A cleaner closet, a virtuous sense of thrift, new clothes to enjoy; not many parties can promise all that. We’re looking forward to doing it                                                   again in the fall. 

Cynthia Marshall Shore is a 53-year-old writer and happy mother of two. A former columnist, her work has also appeared in the New York Times and other magazines. She is currently blogging about parenting at http://growingmygirls.com Go check her out!