Give Me All Your Eggs and No One Will Get Hurt

By Anna

“The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.”

I have a confession to make. I hunted eggs Easter week-end. Its true. A 30 year old grown woman running around the yard like her ass was on fire – just to collect plastic eggs. And I do this every year with my siblings. My mother gets some kind of sadistic delight in watching us push and shove each other - grabbing as many of those little fuckers as we can. Why do we humiliate ourselves in this way? Well, there’s money involved.

Weeks before the holiday we call each other and start trash-talkin’ about the loser who is going to find the egg with all the pennies. (My maniacal mother thinks it’s hilarious to put 100 pennies in one egg…. SURELY I was adopted.) We brag about our egg-hunting prowess and how we’ve been getting into shape for the big Hunt. We get our best running shoes ready. It’s ugly.

And we steal out of each other’s baskets. Well, it’s not exactly stealing. We simply trade an egg with crappy candy in it for one with money in it ….. when the owner of the basket isn’t looking. Over the years I’ve gotten really good at this. But my sister has a new secret weapon – her kids. After their hunt, she bribes them into distracting my brother and me so she can get an advantage. Egg-hogging bitch.

So all the egg-hunting frenzy this year got me to thinking about how women are always hunting for something – bargains, shoes, partners, the perfect purse, a more powerful vibrator…..

Why not have a girlfriends’ hunt? Create diva boxes with fun “prizes” and send your girlfriends ahuntin’! Use women-honoring affirmations or recycled jewelry or candy or anything worth hunting for. Have a fabulous time .… and try to be nice!