Bushwacked

by Tonia

Spending the summer in New Mexico reminds me that dating is like living in the wild west: it’s full of snakes, bandits, outlaws, buckaroos, and desperados. Instead of dudes, there are just a lot of duds. Every once in a while I guess some lucky woman finds herself a Marshall Dildo…..oops…..I mean, DILLON…..a Marshall DILLION. But that wouldn’t be me. Internet dating for me has been the wild west, where there ain’t no law – where to “bed him down” DOESN’T mean a romp in the hay; it means “to kill a man.”

But I’m a believer in getting back in the saddle (even if I don’t get rode hard and put away wet). As I’ve sauntered up the trail of internet dating sites I’ve met guys in white hats, guys in black hats, guys with big guns, guys with badges, and sometimes.....my own kin.

 

As the mother of 3 thirty-somethings, 2 of which are single, I suppose it had to happen. Raising my children to appreciate diversity, my son threw a large lasso by setting his upper age limit setting to include…..well…..fabulous women my age. Then came the bushwhack………my adorable self ending up in the inbox of his “persons of interest.” He’s a mama’s boy but we ain’t THAT close! Fortunately, I’ve instilled a sense of humor in my offspring. After a big laugh, he left that dating site.

But the covered wagon train of online dating drama didn’t stop there. Oh, no. There was another ambush. Anna ended up in the possible matches of one of MY flames. Seems my son isn’t the only one to cast a wide net. Fortunate for that flame he knows that while internet dating is untamed and rough, barbed wire fences (boundaries) do exist.......AND that I don’t own a shotgun.

My new saying? Internet dating is all fun and games until you run into a relative. The “oh my” factor is like running across the profile of a co-worker times 100.

So the next time you plunk yourself next to the incubator of incestuous intimacy known as online dating, circle the wagons by making a stiff drink and brace yourself that inevitable moment when you find Uncle Bob staring back at you.

The Bushwacker 

4 oz cream of coconut

2 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur

1 oz Bacardi® black rum

1 oz dark creme de cacao

4 oz milk

Combine ingredients with ice and shake - or put it all in a blender. Serves up in two 12 oz cups. For fun serve in a tin cup for a Cowgirl party (but we didn't have one for the picture - sorry).