By Tonia
“I’m
as happy as a tornado in a trailer park.” – Anonymous
So a tornado went over my house last week.
No trips to Oz but I’m hanging on to my ruby red slippers.
A girlfriend was with me at my house when it happened. But I do not have a storm
cellar. Mostly because it’s a good place for RATS and SNAKES to seek shelter
during tornado season – and I’d rather face a tornado than get cozy with one of
them. 
We also couldn’t use my bathtub for a safe place because I have
an outer glass bathroom window. But I like this idea because, after you've been
covered with tornado debris, you can immediately wash off and look great for
any rescue workers stopping by. Who knows….a WHIRLWIND romance could be in
store!
No, after watching all the big red weather blobs on the weather station’s
radar screen, my girlfriend and I hopped in the car to drive to a safe place. The
only excitement, however, was on the road when I ran into the car in front of
me while trying to take pictures of the tornado out the window. OOPS!
And, while one touched down just a few miles from my house,
Moore, Oklahoma is really their favorite gathering place. Evidently, they like
to meet there and have a few drinks before madly heading out to other places in
the Midwest to throw cows and mobile homes around. Crazy things.
Some call tornados acts of god. Well, god must really be
trying to air out or stir up Oklahoma politics (god knows we need it). And all
I can say is – LOOK OUT Indiana! Be on a tornado watch!
Meanwhile, I’m thinking of having a girlfriends’ get together
to put the shingles back on my roof. Afterwards I’ll serve a TORNADO cocktail –
and put a plastic cow in it for shits and giggles. But I’ll make everyone come
down before I serve it.
THE TORNADO1 oz. whiskey
1 oz. rum
1 oz tequila
1 oz vodka
½ tbsp. sugar
2 oz cola
ice cubes
Mix the liquors and sugar in a glass. Drop in some ice cubes
and then pour in the coke. Stir twice. Serve.
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